Tis' the season for balance
As the holiday season begins, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, to feel stressed and rushed. For me, what ends up happening is that the holidays go by just as fast as they began, leaving me with my head spinning. Indeed, the holidays become so wholly about devoting time to others and satisfying obligations that I tend to forget and nurture the one person who needed my time the most: myself.
The holidays also become this challenge of finding balance: needs of the moment vs. needs of the self. Martial arts have been an excellent way to more intimately understand that dynamic. For this reason, I wish to share a few martial philosophies and how we can apply them during the season of giving.
“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” — Jana Kingsford
Discipline
Though some holiday traditions can bring us farther from our goals, we must find the balance to remain true to ourselves while enjoying life. As students of the martial arts, we chose to live healthier lifestyles, part of which is about overcoming challenges in a positive way.
Between the holidays and the cold, one challenge we face throughout this season is staying active. Nonetheless, training should be a priority. As you plan your week, treat training like an appointment: schedule it, plan for it, and keep it. Unless we discipline ourselves and are intentional with our time, then training may not happen. We must be intentional and deliberate with our goals and actions.
A second challenge we face is financial discipline. From gift shopping to socializing to food preparations, most (if not all) events and activities this time of year will involve some form of expenses.
We can practice financial discipline by balancing the things we want versus what we truly need. Material things only last for a moment, but experience is something that we remember forever. Don’t feel like money and gifts are what you need to bring to the table: bring yourself, bring your smile, and brighten up the room with positive energy that you can spread to your loved ones.
I use the holidays as a challenge to myself. To see if I can remain true to the goals I’ve set throughout the year. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Respect & Gratitude
Another lesson that comes to mind involves the principles of respect and gratitude. Martial arts teach us to show respect to our elders, our teachers, training partners, and opponents alike. Respect can be a difficult concept to grasp, however. It essentially means that you think good things about who a person is and how they act, that you act in a way that shows people you care about their well-being and feelings.
We show respect to others by acknowledging their presence and their humanity, which can help avoid misunderstandings or miscommunications. With that in mind, it is imperative that we learn to respect the efforts that others show, as well as our own efforts. The time we spend celebrating with others can benefit us in profound ways, after all.
Expressing gratitude can be as simple as saying “thank you” to someone who helped you. It can take the form of a small act of kindness that shows how much you appreciate someone. Handshakes, hugs, and smiles can go a long way. So, show some love. Gratitude should be embedded in our hearts.
During the holidays – well, not just during the holidays – our focus should not be, “I want… I wish… I’ll be happy when…” We should instead pay more attention to what we have, rather than what we don’t.
Practicing gratitude can be quite beneficial, requires minimal time and effort, and hey, it’s free. I challenge you to practice gratitude and respect long after the holidays are over.
Unity
The last reflection, and to me the most important, is unity. Martial arts schools are judgement-free zones that bring individuals from distinct backgrounds together through a common bond: hard work. When we step into the dojo, we put all our differences aside. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, or what color your skin is; your ethnicity and background are embraced by your peers rather than rejected by them.
I’ve never been anywhere more accepting than martial arts schools. They are safe places where we share our whole selves in the most unselfish ways. Before beginning my martial arts journey back in 2008, I was lost and lonely, but that all began to change the day I began Jiu-Jitsu. I found what had been missing in my life: a challenge with attainable goals, amicable friends, a family environment, and inspiring role models. Moreover, I found a place where I could fully express who I was, a place that helped me to thrive and overcome my fears.
Through martial arts I have learned to be selfless – and just as martial arts gave to me, I knew that I must give back to it.
There are many valuable correlations between how we spend time on mats and how we spend time during the holidays. As we train, we enjoy the simple things: unplugging from electronics, putting on our GI’s, bowing into class, sharing laughs with our training partners, enjoying the hard work we put into ourselves and our craft.
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. “ —JWG
We should make an effort to apply all these lessons throughout the holidays. Even outside of training, we should try to enjoy the simple things: getting dressed up, spending a little time and share food with our loved ones, even just handshakes and hugs. Indeed, we should always aim to cultivate moments of mindfulness.
The holiday season is often marketed as a virtuous time – a time to be with friends, family, and loved ones. But practically speaking, it is also time off. For many, the holidays do not represent anything more than that: an opportunity to have a vacation, party, indulge, and take time off from ourselves. I’m not advocating one side or the other; I’m just suggesting that we seek a balance. Martial arts are all about balance, after all. If you’re going to drink, for instance, don’t drink too much. Drink enough to enjoy the moment and company, but not to the point that impedes your training, because it is possible to enjoy life without sacrificing improvement. Just because you chose to improve in martial arts doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself from basic joys.
Have both!