Lost and Found

I feel it is only right that as a new face in the community to give my students and the public a look at my journey here. I care to share the transitional points in my life, an inside look at the times where I had learned to hold on, let go, and transition. I think sharing is teaching.  

The journey to growth is never easy, but I think it get's a little easier if we share.  Life is hard enough.  Because, I've grown from people who chose to share with me.  They helped to build me up, believed in me, and inspired me to bloom. Martial Arts taught me that it is not about being better than anyone else as much as it is about being better than yourself.  And that comes from sharing one another's story.  Here's mine.

Lost.

My family migrated from Ecuador to NJ when I was 5 years old. My father wanted a better life for his family. We lived there till I was 18, and out of crisis immigrated to Canada in 2005. I left my friends, the rest of my family and everything I knew. I was on a downward spiral for my first while. Looking for jobs with no experience, being pressured to go to school with no interest in it, feeling alone, with no friends...it was so confusing. I fell into a depressed state. I took to the party life for a fix and that didn’t’ go so well.  The deeper I went in, the more trouble I found. Though I was able to make many friends, they weren’t the right kind of people I needed. 

“The deeper I went in, the more trouble I found.”

Have you ever thought that you would amount to nothing? Ever felt confused or lost as to where your life was headed? That was me for a long time. I grew up with a great parents, but I was living waywardly. Moving to Canada was the best decision ever. It was a lengthy and exhausting transition, letting go of who I thought I was supposed to be. I had no discipline, no desire to be more, I didn’t expect much of myself. For years I struggled to find my self-worth. Ended up working jobs that would lead me nowhere. But I was surviving. 

Found.

Let’s fast forward to August 2008 where BJJ found me.  After my first week of training I fell in love, I was addicted you could say. I found what had been missing in my life; a challenge with attainable goals, appreciable friends, a family environment, and inspiring role models.  Moreover, I found a place where I could fully express who I was, a place that helped me to thrive and overcome my fears.  That is why I dedicated my life to learning the art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I began to notice changes within. I was more aware, much more amicable, and I had become a more refined young man. The whole time Jiu Jitsu was subconsciously training my mind to become courageous, righteous, and disciplined. I began to perceive life in the same way that I perceived Jiu Jitsu.

“I found a place where I could fully express who I was, a place that helped me to thrive and overcome my fears.”

In addition, I believe that having positive role models and inspiring mentors has been a big part of my growth. I am thankful for mine. They helped and encouraged me to stay on track. My number one role model has always been my father. He is courageous, hard-working and has always put our family first. But as martial arts role models, I never had that experience growing up. At Gracie Humaita Bolton, I met 2 gentlemen that would change my life, the first, Professor Paul Abel. He is great leader and made every BJJ class an experience. His passion and love for his craft exuded through his methods of teaching. And secondly, Professor Dave Gonzalez. Dave is from the exact place in NJ that I was from, he’s just 15 years older than me. Having Dave by my side aided in me becoming a more civilized individual. I learned that it was okay to let go of the person I was in order to become someone better, I learned that your past doesn’t control who you become. It’s like Jiu Jitsu, we must be able to transition from a bad position to a better one. I may have never stayed with BJJ. It was influencing to see two older men, who had been where I was, and have overcome that. It drove me to be better. I’ve also been able to make other great friends in this journey, some are close and some in other countries. That’s another reason I love Jiu Jitsu, it is one HUGE family that extends around the globe. As long as you are a good person, you will be welcome anywhere.

Ecuador. 

Until now, BJJ had been a personal journey of self-awakening and self-improvement. By my fifth year of BJJ I finally embraced the martial arts lifestyle of constant improvement. Again, my parents aided my growth. They suggested I join them for a month in Ecuador, where I experienced more love and closeness with my family than I ever have. Furthermore, I found self-worth and a purpose for my life. My uncle owns a sports recreation facility for underprivileged youth. They asked if I could present BJJ to their community. I said yes right away, not even thinking about how I would communicate. See my Spanish isn’t too good, I can hold a conversation, yes. But to teach others in another language would be a challenge. Thankfully I met a BJJ friend on the mats of Guayaquil that was willing to assist me. The demonstration went well. And though I couldn’t speak the language very well, BJJ spoke for itself. 

This was a rejuvenating experience. I realized that Jiu JItsu was bigger than me working towards a black belt, and that this whole time I was being prepared to guide others through it. See, there aren’t many paths for a martial artist, some do it for leisure, others will compete, and then there are teachers. To me, being a black belt was the end goal. Though I didn’t know what I would do when I got to black belt, I saw the belt as a reward of all the time and hard work that I had put into the art. 

“though I couldn’t speak the language very well, BJJ spoke for itself. ”

A new destination.

I've learned that when we are in a despair, we only think of survival.  That is all that occupies our mind.  In other words, we are so stuck, that we cannot even conceive of a new outcome, and set a new destination.  Because to set a new challenge means to have overcome old obstacles.  That is where I am now.  Overcoming old self views and behaviour has allowed me to create my own Jiu Jitsu school.  But beyond that, my school has allowed me to create a new destination in life.  As I give to Jiu Jitsu, Jiu Jitsu always gives back.

When I think of a black belt, it is the beginning of a new journey. Fluxo has given me a new vision of black belt—not as a reward, but as a new mission.  A black belt to me gives back to Jiu Jitsu by serving the community at large. This is how I will attain mine.  And I am excited to have you a part of that journey.  As far as I’ve come in this journey, there is still a lifetime to go because that is what Fluxo now represents to me.  A chance to complete the last beginner leg of my journey by giving to others, what has been given to me. 

--Bom Dia, Jose Dominguez

Head Instructor, Fluxo Jiu  Jitsu